Why do I Feel Broken?
People say that what we’re all seeking is a meaning for life. I don’t think that’s what we’re really seeking.
I think that what we’re seeking is an experience of being alive…
~Joseph Campbell
Pfft, broken? Listen up. Your not broken, just broken down. When you break down, over time, you break open. You become available to serve yourself. Ground yourself in the present, plant those feet firmly on the ground, and say this aloud: I am safe. I am strong. I will be okay. I will learn from this experience. Right now I feel (fill in this blank) and tomorrow will be a better day.
I also encourage you to practice the interruption of self defeating thoughts. You know, that voice in your head that whispers the opposite of sweet nothings. Yeah, the uninvited. Eww. She’s nasty. That’s your inner critic. You constructed her and you can dismantle her too. The act of doing this won’t feel very natural at first but like a muscle, if you continue the exercise of interrupting those negative thoughts, you will eventually strengthen your ability to bypass your default mode. She has been operating that and urgently needs to be reassigned!
It took years before I was able to redirect my negative thoughts. My inner critic still lives within me. She works for me now, not against me. Don’t misunderstand. There were many times I felt broken down too and actually invited her in, as if she belonged there. I felt so crippled by emotional pain, opening my eyes to greet the day was unbearable. There she was, whispering in my ear. Rest my pretty (think Wizard of Oz), You don’t have the strength to overcome…
She doesn’t know shit! Collect your broken down self and begin to rise. I can assure you, things won’t always feel this way. Nurture yourself. Pay attention to the conversations you conduct in your head. Are they helpful or hurtful? Do you say kind things to yourself? Begin by loving yourself, unconditionally.
Broken Open has been my trusted guide. If you need to normalize your feelings of love, loss, life and everything in between, it won’t disappoint. Remember, we don’t grow unless life is changing. Forgive yourself during the difficult times. Commit yourself to the process just don’t overstay your welcome. I don’t want you to get comfy anywhere that doesn’t serve you well. Ignore your inner critic. Shut that bitch up. She is a fraud. You, my pretty, have always had the power!
Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let the light in
~Groucho Marx
X, M