Change Can Be a Bitch
Change. Oohhh… it can be so difficult, right? I’m not talking about the kind of change where you’re fairly certain it will produce the most desirable outcome. That shit is easy. I’m referring to, take your breath away, uncertain and uncomfortable kind of change. The emotional level grab. It holds you so tight in your soul that you can’t resist it no matter how hard you try. Are you resisting change? If so, why? Our life is transient. It is a privilege to be alive. Open your arms, and embrace it.
Think about what you ache for, what you long for, and what you daydream about. It’s natural to run away from our dreams. As soon as we realize the dream is attainable and could become a reality, we rationalize and make excuses based on fear. The thought of change becomes so paralyzing that it will supersede the desire to transform your life. It requires dismantling the comfort you have come to know. Instead, we simply allow our dreams to appear before us in this state of pause, as a reel we play over and over to preserve the “one day” mentality. It helps us feel better. It comforts us and when we learn that we have self sabotaged, we change the reel to comply with the present, and so it goes.
We are designed to gravitate toward feelings of predictability and safety, rather than the uncertainty that exists with anticipated transformation and the free fall. It is our duty, not only to ourselves, but also to our children to lead by example. It can be scary AF, but ask yourself, are you living with purpose and pursuing your true happiness? I don’t mean the bullshit “happy.” I mean, the silence of yourself, happy. There are far too many people making excuses to stay nestled in their cages. I get it, I do. Here’s the thing, people talk a lot of shit. Be the shit! Be brave!
Change is a bitch but invite her into your life anyway. Listen, I know her well. She’s both, beautiful and scary. A force that has the potential to wreck you with one false move, but don’t let that discourage you because she also has the potential to positively transform your life. I witness it all the time. I’m in the business of change. We are all capable of it. If you are blessed with good health, there are zero excuses. I see people passing the baton of their unrealized dreams off to their children, with the hope that they will fulfill, what they couldn’t. We can all provide valid reasons of how life gets in the way but it’s never too late to make small changes of improvement.
If you’re not inviting or seeking change, what exactly are you doing? You may feel the impulse to counter with, stability isn’t so terrible. You’re right. Stability related to health, relationships, children and work are all necessary to thrive but there is a difference between having a life, and actually living. Are we really stable though? This level of comfort that if things stay exactly as they are, we are safe. It can be misleading because we aren’t guaranteed anything. Things are always changing, with or without our permission. Stability is sweet, but any potential for your dreams will die a slow death there.
“Die while your alive and be absolutely dead. Then do whatever you want.”
I anticipated that one day, life would change. It’s inevitable; however, the outcome and perspective is entirely up to us. I recently returned home from one of the most difficult trips I have ever had to take, the college drop. This was not my first rodeo but that didn’t make a difference. The loss feels the same no matter how many children you send off into the world. I experienced the same stirring moments leading up to heart wrenching wave, “see you soon” goodbye. The feelings of change within myself, as I reflected on my role as a parent. The thoughts of who I was becoming, wondering who she will become, brought light into my heavy heart. I got on the plane to return home, with just myself, grieving a part of life that I knew would never be the same. I returned with less luggage, but with more baggage to sort through.
The work of life is never done, until your actually done! The thought of another ending on the horizon, leaving our comfortable lives here to live and work abroad, is overwhelming but not in a negative way. I am overcome with the excitement of the unknown and a new beginning. So many people have asked, what if you hate it? Are you scared? For how long? Will you be back? We do not have all the answers, only some, and that’s okay for us. We just know, it’s time. I believe change, good or bad, is a reminder that you’re alive. We can all relate to having experienced some version of this. If your currently searching for the pulse of your life, don’t stop. Be restless. It’s okay. It doesn’t mean your life is terrible. It means you’re growing and changing.
Change is a process, unlike any other. It transforms you. It is like a part of you is dying while your still alive, excitedly anticipating stepping into the life your meant to live, for now, perhaps for the remainder. Who knows? I have planned, researched, changed direction countless times and I discovered, the longer you take to decide, the less time you have. Change is permanent, decisions are not.
I am currently resisting the urge to call my college freshman. It is her time to experience change and to be independent. I was cleaning the bathroom earlier and I noticed her toothbrush in the cup, and just like that, I was bitch slapped. It stings, but I carry on. Change can be a bitch, but she will do wonders if you invite her in.
For anyone going through change, or contemplating change, just be brave. Live your best life.
x,M